Jane says…..

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” If you answered yes to the title question I am sure you have realized the truth in this quote by Ambrose Bierce. In order to gain control over your tongue you must be determined to see things differently. People who lose their temper tend to view life in a negative and judgmental way. You have the ability to direct your mind away from angry and upset feelings. You need to realize that you can have peace of mind instead of conflict.

This article will cover a variety of mindsets and behaviors that will teach you how to keep your mouth shut when you are angry.

1) Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Remember that you have two ears and only one mouth. Use them in this proportion. It’s better to be a good listener than to be a good speaker. Listen carefully to what the other person has to say. Take your time before giving them an answer.

2) Don’t be double minded. You can’t have peace of mind and conflict at the same time. Be clearly focused on the outcome that you want. (Example: “I want to go to bed tonight feeling close to my partner.”).

3) You can’t be right and be married. You have to decide “Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?” Trying to be right will destroy the connection between you. Instead, strive to do the right thing.

4) Don’t jump to conclusions. Slow down and think through the situation.

5) Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head. I often hear people say, “I cannot keep from saying the thoughts I have.” You can and you must.

6) As I was writing this, my daughter reminded me of Thumper’s quote in the movie, “Bambi”. “If you can’t say something nice…don’t say nothing at all.” This is always good advice.

7) Don’t overreact to criticism. Beneath the criticism is an underlying message. Criticism is a smoke screen for deeper feelings. I compare criticism to cheese on a mousetrap. What happens when the mouse takes the cheese? He gets his tail caught in the trap. That’s what happens when you take the bait of criticism. Don’t take the bait. Listen for the underlying message.

Stay away from negative thoughts and statements like, “I hate this!” “This is driving me crazy!” “I can’t stand this!” These types of statements are like throwing gasoline on a fire. You are making it much more intense. Replace these with positive declarations such as “I can handle this.” “This is not that big of a deal.” “I have unshakeable peace of mind.” “Nothing bothers me.” Your thoughts will direct your emotions. Choose positive thoughts that help you keep your peace.

9) If someone uses absolute terms like “always”, “never”, “everybody”, and “nobody”; don’t take them literally. These are emotional terms. If your wife says “You never take me anywhere.” and you know that’s not true; don’t take it as a personal attack. Try and hear her underlying request that she needs to know she is special and she wants to spend some time with you.

10) Don’t overreact and don’t give advice too quickly. This only trains people not to be open with you.

11) Don’t try to get in the last word. It’s not worth the damage you could do by trying to win or be heard.

12) If you are angry repeat this scripture based verse in your head, “In all things be self controlled.” Say it over and over so that you don’t get derailed into an argument.

13) There is life and death in the spoken word. Make sure your words build people up versus tearing them down.

14) Remember to breathe. Stick with the basics. When you are upset, take a few deep breaths.

15) Strive to use an approach that promotes honor and respect. This can make the difference between a twenty minute argument and a 3 day war.

16) Realize that your anger most likely is not going to help solve the problem and may actually make the matter worse.

17) Calmness will help you get to the heart of the matter. This leads to conflict resolution. Trying to be right or show your might will lead to conflict.

18) Staying connected is more important than making your point.

The only one who is responsible for the way your life works out is you. You cannot change the past, but you can take responsibility for your future. All it takes is a decision. Decide to live a life of discipline rather than one of regret. Remember that discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons. Develop the power of a tamed tongue.

Mark Webb is the author of How To Be A Great Partner and founder of Partner Focused Relationships™. Sign up for Mark Webb’s “Relationship Strategies” Ezine ($100 Value). Just visit his website at http://www.powerfulrelationshipadvice.com or http://www.therelationshipspecialist.com

Blog car, care, movie, personal, relationship, time, writing

As human beings, we all have an innate need to be close to someone. But sometimes the very thing we desire is the opposite of what we have. Some of us subconsciously sabotage the relationships we want because of our fear of intimacy. Sometimes we unknowingly and unwillingly drift apart because of our inability to engage in the delicate dance of intimacy. Others avoid intimacy altogether because the pain of past failures is too great.

Intimacy, physical and emotional closeness, is tough to navigate our way through. It takes skill, hard work and commitment. I wish I could tell you it is easy once you know how. True intimacy is tough to achieve, but who says the best gifts are easy to obtain? In all honesty, I am certainly no expert on how to maintain and nurture closeness, but I have learned 11 things that will definitely kill intimacy in a relationship.

Dishonesty and Silence

Intimacy requires honesty and openness. It only takes one lie to destroy the trust in a relationship. To be close to someone, we need to be able to share what is true and real about us. And we must be willing to hear someone else’s truth. Sometimes we think that it is best to not say anything at all if it means it may hurt our partner. So we silently hang on to our truth or share our truth with the wrong people. When we do this, there is no opportunity for the relationship to grow with integrity.

Lack of Trust

Sometimes there is no dishonesty in the relationship, but still a lack of trust exists. Perhaps healthy trust has never been a part of your life, or maybe a painful event in life has fractured your ability to trust. A person must heal from their past and base their decision to trust someone on the present actions of a person. Deem people trustworthy until proven otherwise.

Desire to Change People

True intimacy necessitates acceptance. Having acceptance of yourself and your partner is a powerful indicator of love. It doesn’t mean you have to like everything, but you need to let go of the need to change another person. When we lack acceptance of another person’s qualities, our tendency is to control. That control manifests itself in disapproving feelings, and sometimes even pressuring people to change. To feel close to another person, you must feel unconditionally accepted for who you are.

Inability to Express Your Needs and Feelings

Unfortunately we, as humans, do not have the power to read minds. Therefore, we have to rely on our partners to communicate with us and vice versa. It is each person’s responsibility to express their needs and feelings. By sharing who we are and what’s important to us, we significantly increase our chances of having our needs met. On the other hand, if we repress our needs and feelings, we shut the other person out of our world, and make intimacy impossible.

Not Listening

Communication is a two-way street. Many of us have no problem talking, but listening poses more of a challenge. Listening requires us to hear our partners with our heart. An added step to listening is acknowledging what we have heard. Are you really hearing your partner’s feelings and needs? Or are you thinking about how your partner is wrong or how you want to defend yourself? If your partner is constantly communicating the same need or feeling to you over and over, chances are you are not hearing your partner with your heart.

Self-Centeredness

The minute you decide to enter into a committed relationship, the moment self-centeredness becomes a thing of the past. Intimacy requires there to be a balance between self, the other person and the relationship. It’s not about just you anymore. You have to take the feelings and needs of the other person and the relationship into consideration. Decisions about money, routines, free time, children, time, etc. now have to include your partner’s input.

Lack of Respect

Chances are if you lack respect for your partner, your intimate life probably suffers. To respect means you hold a high opinion and highly value yourself or another person. You appreciate and show consideration for people. The closeness of intimacy needs a general feeling of respect for self and your partner. It also means you need to behave in a way that deserves respect. You cannot expect your partner to respect you if your actions do not warrant respect.

Imbalance of Power

There cannot be one person in a relationship that sees him or herself as more important than his or her partner. A relationship consists of two people with perceived equality. That doesn’t mean one person isn’t smarter, more knowledgeable about certain topics, or has greater strengths in certain areas. It means the difference is not highlighted, flaunted or disrespected. Having a balance of power requires each person to have equal say in a discussion. It means the needs and feelings of each person are equally important.

Unhealthy Arguments

All couples have disagreements. The intimacy in your relationship will suffer if you let your arguments get out of hand. Angry words, unresolved arguments, and inflicting emotional and physical pain will destroy intimacy. Couples that are close learn how to respectfully and healthily resolve their arguments.

Absence of Touch

Although physical intimacy is just a part of total intimacy, it is a very important part. If you don’t make a point to hug, kiss, and experience sexual intimacy, your level of intimacy will be affected. You can still be close, but touch adds extra feelings of warmth, safety and love.

Extreme Separateness

So many couples, after time, begin to live separate lives. Either their differences separate them or unawareness or lack of intention cause them to drift apart. Intimacy requires people to spend time together and share in each other’s life. A relationship is like a garden. You need to take the time to pull the weeds, fertilize and water the flowers. In other words, it requires time, love, and a commitment to keep the bad to a minimum.

If you want your relationship to be intimate, love and respect one another, do your best to meet one another’s needs, share your dreams and feelings, and avoid these eleven intimacy killers.

Lori Radun, CEC - certified life coach for moms. To receive her FREE newsletter for moms and the special report “155 Things Moms Can Do to Raise Great Children, visit her website at http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com.

Blog coach, communication, health, human, love, relationship, sex, time

As the loss of a loved one can be one of the greatest challenges in life and connecting to with spirit can be a life changing experience. Whether you lose a loved one, a relationship or a job, most people feel some degree of grief when such an event occurs. Mediumship provides just one of the tools to help come to terms with the loss in a positive manner.

“As a Medium, I deliver more than messages” Amirah says, “I help to confirm that once our physical body dies, our ’spirit’ lives on, and that we as spirits remain connected to relatives, friends and loved ones..”

In the case of the loss of a loved one, especially a spouse, the feeling of loneliness and concern for the future can be emotionally devastating. While grief is a normal and usually healthy response to loss, it can become unhealthy and counterproductive if it persists too long. Do you believe that grief is a feeling that cannot or should not be changed?

Susan contacted me initially because a close friend passed away and she was having problems moving on with her own life. She still felt the depression and pain of the tragic loss but felt ready to make some changes. Any skepticism Susan had about the process soon faded when her friend expressed things only they would know.

Release Guilt, Shame and Blame

Susan wanted answers to questions that plagued her. She wanted to know why her friend committed suicide and what he was doing now. She received that and more. Her friend communicated things that would happen and they did. Within a week Susan received validation to promises her friend made to her and got closure. She was now ready to move on with her life.

Forgive Yourself and the Deceased

Those who died a violent death (suicide, accident or murder) can still be earthbound. They need energetic help to take their next step along their path. You can send healing from this side of the veil to assist them in the process. In healing yourself, you heal others.

Time to Let Go

Susan didn’t know what it meant to reprogram or clear her energy. But, she did know she was lethargic with heavy depression due to her loss. Although skeptical, Susan was ready to make some changes. She was ready to finally LET GO. She was ready to allow things that were meant to HAPPEN come into her life!

Activate Hope and Faith for the Future

Later the same day, after the energy clearing, Susan felt better. She didn’t do anything different; she just felt more positive and lighter. Connecting to her friend gave her closure. She regained faith in herself. She felt hopeful again and enthusiasm for life began to bubble up from within.

Confirmation of Life After Death

As the week progressed, Susan continued to receive validation of her friend’s promises to her. Things actually happened as Amirah communicated they would. There is comfort in knowing that life continues after our spirit leaves our body.

Resolve Unfinished Business

After life communication helps you reclaim your right to live fully while helping the departed spirit go on with its own journey. When you know you can continue to communicate and resolve unfinished business, if frees you up to live fully.

Reclaiming Your Life

Susan didn’t think this could all happen so quickly and felt she could never do it alone. This was a turning point for her though as she received answers and information needed to live a happier life.

“If I can help people connect with a deeper part of themselves or someone on the other side, and bring more peace, comfort and possibly closure - then I’ve done my job.” - AMIRAH
Amirah © 2006 All Rights Reserved.

You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as the bylines are included. A courtesy copy of your publication is appreciated.

Amirah Hall, a 25-year Intuitive Life Coach, Spirit Medium, Author, Speaker helps individuals gain insight, clarity and understanding in their own lives making positive life changes.Get your FRe.e Stress Buster Audio Download http://www.soulmystic.com/contact2.php FRE.e monthly newsletter http://www.soulmystic.com/newsletters.html eMail: Amirah@soulmystic.com

Blog audio, coach, communication, depression, grief, health, lease, love, public, relationship, stress, time

The humdrum existence of going to the office day after day doing the usual 8 to 5 shift is a trying task for those who have lived all their lives doing so. This is why the convenience of doing work at home under amazingly flexible working hours is a dazzling prospect to them. Doing work at home that is as fulfilling as having a career working for a computer on the 19th floor of a skyscraper is already a possibility in these modern times. This is because the jungle-like network that is the Internet has given birth to a business that has given some people practically new lives doing nothing but so.

This particular business allows people to work at home under flexible working hours. There is no boss to scream around putting pressure on everyone about the deadline at hand. There is no clutter of messy paperwork that needs to be completed the soonest possible time. Conveniences such as these are experienced by those who are into affiliate marketing, the newest way to earn money without having to go through all sorts of routine found in regular employment.

Those who have been in the business long enough can attest to the fact that it is a lucrative business indeed, one that can actually give people things that they could not possibly possess or experience under ordinary circumstances.

The business called affiliate marketing involves an affiliate’s promotion of a merchant’s website. Here the website owned by the affiliate is made to advertise and market the website of the merchant through the affiliate program that they run. Whenever someone clicks on the merchant’s website promoted by the one owned by the affiliate, the affiliate is given a commission. This is in recognition of his effort in helping the merchant make a sale.

The system involved in affiliate marketing seems easy, but it also takes a lot of diligence and perseverance for one to be able to penetrate it thoroughly. Those who want to get into this type of business should possess the necessary skills to be able tread through the industry with confidence and self-assurance. Still, other factors are needed by one to be able to really break in. Knowledge about the business at hand is very important as it dictates the actions that are to be done by people who are into it.

The leading figure in affiliate marketing is the super affiliate. He or she is basically an e-mail marketer who collects large databases of e-mail addresses through newsletters. Super affiliates are also those who know the business even better than affiliate managers as a result of their knowledge about the affiliate marketing industry inside out. Those who want to be super affiliates should know that becoming a super affiliate is not easy, because it takes a lot to be able to master the marketing craft.

Becoming a super affiliate means having one’s own website and auto responder. These tools will help a lot in one’s facilitation of the business. Building one’s own list is another. Creating a loyal customer base and taking care of it is one secret that successful super affiliates have. Making good customer relations is also important if one wants to be a super affiliate to reckon with.

Continuing to market to the people on one’s list is another must if one wants to succeed as a super affiliate. Sending out quality content in lieu of ads is an advantage as products are marketed better whenever enough information is given about them.

Building traffic to one’s own site is also one of the most essential points in the affiliate marketing business. Making one’s affiliate links his own business will allow him to build a strong relationship with his customers, enabling him to market to them over and over again.

The most important thing one should remember if he wants to become a super affiliate is to treat affiliate marketing as a business first and foremost. If he is capable of doing this, then he will never have to go back to the humdrum existence of working the 8-5 shift. A career as a super affiliate in the business, which will change his life forever, could possibly take that unexciting job’s place.

Clarence Binayu is the founder and Webmaster for http://www.virtual-guides.com. Here you can find FREE information on many subjects including business, automobile, travel, vacation, affiliate marketing, advertising, internet, sports, entertainment, technology, communication, fashion, home improvement, culture, education, society, science, politics, fitness and health. http://www.virtual-guides.com provides you with helpful guidance, tips and news update, from basic to the latest skills, knowledge and information, about these subjects.

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Have you ever considered what it means to be an intentional parent? Have you thought about what hangs in the balance? Fourteen years of parenting, reading countless books and listening to the sage of advice of many who walked the parenting path before me has taught me much. Ironically, what stands out the most is how much there is left to learn about being an effective parent and how often I still miss the mark. Hitting the mark is tough even in the best of circumstances; with work, after-school activities, help with homework and other personal demands the bulls eye looks awfully small and so far away. Maybe you can relate. One thing is clear to me - effective parenting is not something that easily comes. It takes great effort and it takes intentionality. The effort part is for another discussion, but what about intentionality?

An intentional parent is not a perfect parent (none of us fall into that category); rather, it is a parent who has “mentally determined upon some action or result related to parenting.” The key is “mentally determined” since every good habit starts with a mental decision. I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of a single good habit I have that just happened. An intentional parent is an “on purpose” parent.

As parents, our greatest tendency is to react to our children rather than plan in advance. To complicate it even further, we acknowledge this tendency yet do little about it. What does this say about us as parents? The question we need to grapple with is why do we tend to continue down the same unintentional path? There are at least three practical reasons I have identified in my own life that make it difficult for me to be an intentional parent: vision, know-how and accountability. See if you can identify with any of them.

Our biggest obstacle starts in the mind - we simply don’t take the time to contemplate what hangs in the balance. To state it another way, we really have not taken the time to understand and embrace what is gained and what is lost by investing in our children as intentional parents. Most of us would agree, upon reflection, more is to be gained by taking an intentional approach to parenting our children. So, action step number one for becoming an intentional parent is to imagine what you want your relationship to be like with your child and what his or her relationships will be like with others once your child has reached adulthood. Add to that the legacy you want to leave and you start to catch a glimpse of what hangs in the balance.

I imagine my children growing up one day and investing their lives in their own family and those around them. Can that happen if I never invest time with them? Of course, but chances are they will be more apt to do it and more effective at it if I invest in them as young children. When Emily, our now 11 year old, was younger and wanted to play Old Maid when the football game was on, my first thought was “not during the game.” As I look back now, I can say some of my funniest and fondest memories were playing a simple card game like Old Maid with our girls. It is amazing what you can teach a child about life during a basic game of Old Maid.

Our next challenge is lack of know-how. We have very little idea of what an intentional parent looks or acts like. In short, we are missing a plan. It is a bit like driving in a foreign country without a map or directions of any sort. You may eventually reach the destination but the frustration and loss of time makes the journey miserable and it is rarely worth the price. The solution is easy but it takes time. Research, read, utilize resources like Focus on the Family and survey your friends, especially those with grown children. One good resource can launch your journey to becoming an intentional parent. For me, it was a book by Tim Kimmel entitled Legacy of Love.

Being an intentional parent requires changing your strategy and approach as your child changes. If you are like I was early in my parenting I wanted to discover the know-how or “program” that worked, implement it and expect everything to fall neatly into place. I soon discovered the “neatly into place” part was a hurdle. I remember one particular airplane ride before we had our first daughter, Nicole. I was stuck next to a screaming child; you know, the one who never stops screaming the entire flight. I still hear myself saying, “I can’t believe they are not able to control their child. My child will never act like that in public.” Famous last words, right? Fast forward to my first airplane ride with Nicole when she was about six months old. It was a piece of cake - not a peep out of her the entire time. Everyone was so complimentary and a proud Dad I was. I had the program figured out or so I thought until my second airplane ride with Nicole near her one year birthday. To say it was miserable and embarrassing would be an understatement. From the time the plane took off she started screaming and I was reduced to a helpless Dad - duped by a one year old. Some program on “how you should act in public” I had! My child had changed - it was time for a new strategy.

Once you have your vision and plan in place you are faced with implementation. Every parent understands the daily challenges of raising a child as life speeds by us like a NASCAR race. In my own life it is here in the daily battle that I have discovered the importance of accountability. My wife is the best intentional parent I know. She made a decision early in the lives of our children (Nicole is 14 and Emily is 11) to empower her friends to hold her accountable in her role as an intentional mother. As a result, when inertia begins to pull her away from intentional parenting her friends remind her of the vision, the plan and of what hangs in the balance. This accountability enables her to course correct and to escape falling “out of the habit” of intentional parenting. Who have you allowed into the center of your life to ask you the difficult questions and to challenge you to be an intentional parent?

Having a vision with know-how and even accountability means nothing unless and until we act. Actions require energy and time which, for busy people, always feels in short supply. If you are like me, fear and self-centeredness are oftentimes a big hindrance to being an intentional parent. A sense of scarcity and the lack of understanding of the consequences of inaction allow fear and self-centeredness to rule and block our otherwise good intentions. What will I need to give up in the way of time and energy to deliver in this area of my life? What will it cost me personally? It takes courage to be an intentional parent. So, what do you think - is it worth your child’s future and your legacy to become an intentional parent? Will you muster the courage it takes to impact a life?

I know what you are thinking - where are all of the action steps, the secrets, the plan? Well, right now Emily needs help with her homework so more on the know-how will need to wait. Keep your eye out for the next article at www.CourageTheMonkey.com. Intentional parenting calls.

Copyright © 2006, Mark T. Jordan. All rights reserved. Permission granted to reprint this article without alteration if you include the bio and copyright.

Mark Jordan is the author of several books including his most recent children’s book http://www.CourageTheMonkey.com. He holds an MBA from Baylor University and a BSBA from the University of Arkansas. He can be reached at mark@CourageTheMonkey.com.

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The rabbit had been able to elude the fox, hopping safely into the arms of a briar patch and out of the immediate reach of the hungry predator. Seeing that he would not be able to have the rabbit for a meal, he decided instead to show concern. “Are you alright, my friend?” he asked, trying to put on an expression of empathy.

“Quite well, thank you,” replied the rabbit, still panting from the close call and looking to and from with suspicion.

“Very well, then,” said the fox, who began to walk away. He paused, turned around, and added, “I promise not to try and harm you anymore.”

“Are you quite serious?” asked the rabbit, surprised at this sudden announcement.

“Quite serious,” the fox replied, then walked away. As he walked, he uttered under his breath, “At least — not for today.”

– From “More Fables, Ancient and New”

At least once a month, I receive a call from an individual who has been on total disability with Federal Worker’s Comp for several years. The individual has been separated from service from the Federal Government or the Postal Service for more than a year, and suddenly the Office of Workers Compensation Program sends the individual to a Second Opinion doctor, and thereafter issues a declaratory finding that he or she is no longer disabled, and can return to work.

– Not only has that individual lost his OWCP benefits, but he has also lost his right to file for disability retirement under FERS or CSRS.

This is because, under the rules and regulations for disability retirement, an individual must file with the Office of Personnel Management within one year from the date he or she is separated from Federal Service (See 5 C.F.R. Sec. 844.201(a)(1) , where it states that, “Except as provided in paragraphs (a)(3) and (a)(4) of this section, an application for disability retirement is timely only if it is filed with the employing agency before the employee or Member separates from service, or with the former employing agency or OPM within 1 year thereafter”).

Thus, a word of caution for those many individuals who receive the non-taxable payments from OWCP — continue to remain on OWCP for as long as possible, because it is certainly financially advantageous over the taxable annuity amount received from FERS/CSRS disability retirement — but always remember that OWCP is not a retirement system. If they don’t cut your payments off today, there is always tomorrow (refer to the fox in the fable, above).

I always advise my disability retirement clients who are receiving OWCP benefits to remain on OWCP for as long as they can stand it (i.e., the persistent harassment, the constant oversight by so-called “2nd opinion doctors”, etc.) — but to always have the FERS/CSRS disability retirement annuity approved as a back-up source of income. Individuals may file for disability retirement concurrently while on OWCP — but you simply cannot collect from both at the same time (See 5 C.F.R. Sec. 844.105, “Relationship to workers’ compensation. (a) Except as provided in paragraph (b) of this section, an individual who is eligible for both an annuity under part 842 or 844 of this chapter and compensation for injury or disability under subchapter I of chapter 81 of title 5, United States Code (other than a scheduled award under 5 U.S.C. 8107(c)), covering the same period of time must elect to receive either the annuity or compensation.”).

Thus, when OWCP terminates your payments (and there is a very good chance that this will happen at some point in the near future), it is a wise option to have your disability retirement benefits approved, but held in an inactive status. You have every right to elect one benefit over the other. Indeed, if you wanted to, you are allowed to go back and forth between OWCP and FERS/CSRS disability retirement.

As a secondary issue on this matter, take a close look at 5 U.S.C. Section 8106 on “partial disability”, and compare that definition with the definition for disability retirement. In Section 8106 (OWCP), the definition states in paragraph (c) (2) that “A partially disabled employee who refuses or, neglects to work after suitable work is offered to, procured by, or secured for him, is not entitled to compensation.” This means that if OWCP secures a job for you as a Walmart greeter (you know, those individuals who smile and say hello to you as you walk into the Walmart Superstore), and pay you the difference between your salary and what Walmart pays — and you decide to say “no”, OWCP has every right to cut off your payments.

On the other hand, under the laws concerning FERS & CSRS disability retirement, 5 C.F.R.Sec. 844.103 (a)(2) states that, in order to be eligible for disability retirement, the individual “must, while employed in a position subject to FERS, have become disabled because of a medical condition, resulting in a deficiency in performance, conduct, or attendance, or if there is no such deficiency, the disabling medical condition must be incompatible with either useful and efficient service or retention in the position.”

The difference here is that, under OWCP, if you are ‘partially disabled’, if you are offered any job that OWCP believes you can do, you must accept it. On the other hand, under FERS/CSRS disability retirement laws, if you are partially disabled — meaning that you simply cannot do at least one or more of the essential elements of your job — then you are entitled to disability retirement benefits, and your agency or the Postal Service cannot simply offer you any job; they must offer you a job in the same pay or grade, and one in which you are qualified or, if you are in the Postal Service, then it must an accommodation in the same craft.

Under the former (OWCP), you have no control over your future (OWCP determines your future); under the latter (disability retirement), you can obtain disability retirement benefits, and then take control of your future and work at another job of your choice, and make up to 80% of what your (former) position pays, and still continue to receive your disability annuity.

Experiencing a medical disability is a traumatic, life-changing event. Financial concerns are always part of this life-changing event, and it is important to secure one’s financial future to the greatest extent possible. Obtaining disability retirement — both the annuity as well as the health insurance benefits — is often the difference between a secure future and financial poverty. It is therefore extremely important to look upon disability retirement as a lifetime investment — one which must be obtained with an aggressive plan and approach.

I am an Attorney who represents Federal and Postal workers from all across the United States, including Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico. I do not charge for telephone consultations. If you would like to contact me, you may call me at 1-800-990-7932, or email me at DisabilityAtty@msn.com. My ad also appears weekly in the Federal Times.

Robert R. McGill, Esquire DisabilityAtty@msn.com

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If you want to be financially stable and have a successful and legitimate computer consulting business you have to work on honing your intuition skills and focusing on a specialty. You also need to be good at uncovering the best small business clients.

Small Businesses

There are almost countless small businesses in the United States and globally, and you can almost be guaranteed that just in your geographical area there are thousands or even tens of thousands of small businesses. Unfortunately, if you choose to work with the wrong small companies in the computer consulting business you could be headed for disaster.

Optimal Accounts

The secret to a successful computer consulting business is finding the very best accounts and knowing how and when it is appropriate to simply say no to people.

To find optimal accounts you need to know where to look for them and how to be certain that the small businesses you find will be worth the time and effort for your computer consulting business. Career satisfaction is a key element in this industry and the hope of achieving it was probably why you chose to open your own computer consulting business instead of sticking to a corporate IT position.

Thinking About Finances

Your computer consulting business needs to be financially successful. Having a profitable business that is a steady source of revenue will make your life that much easier and help you prepare for the future. Because all small businesses are not the same, you have to be sure you are choosing to work with the ones that will help you meet your financial goals.

The computer consulting business is about people, and that being said, you have to be empathetic to clients and do the best job possible for them. Still, you have to keep your own best interests in mind and be sure you can cultivate long-term relationships.

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Joshua Feinberg, co-founder of Computer Consulting 101, helps computer consulting business owners get more steady, high-paying clients. Learn how you can too with free proven computer consulting secrets at http://www.ComputerConsulting101.com

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Today Panama has become the Switzerland of Latin America. There are 150 banks in Panama many of which have their name on a 40 story modern skyscraper. Panama is often touted as having the best banking secrecy laws in the world. This author believes this to be true and we will address the bank secrecy laws of Panama in depth.

The first important point to look at is the existence of any tax treaties that Panama may be in with any other countries. This is an easy topic since Panama has no tax treaties with any other countries. Tax treaties can be privacy invasive for a banking client. Under some treaties the bank must collect a certain percentage of taxes from interest income paid to the clients and this money is turned over to the client’s home country. Other treaties call for an exchange of information so if a requesting country wanted to gather certain facts about a bank account or if a certain constituent of theirs had a bank account the bank would be obligated to provide the information. The European Union Withholding Tax Treaty is a very relevant treaty.

The next type of treaty one must look at is called the Mutual Legal Assistance Treaty, or MLAT. This treaty allows countries to request information from other countries in the treaty. The general way this type of treaty operates is through diplomatic channels. Panama is in such treaties. The requesting country must have a criminal case on file in the national courts of their country. They would then cite this case already in their criminal courts when the request for information is made. The requesting country would a need to show that the requested information about the Panama bank account is absolutely required to successfully prosecute the case and that the requesting country has no other way to obtain such evidence. Then the request is considered by Panama. Panama may ask for more information. Panama could deny the request on whatever grounds they wish to use. Panama could also decide to conduct their own investigation because they feel that some Panama laws may have been broken and delay the MLAT request until after they have concluded their investigation which may be some years. The statue of limitations could expire before Panama completed their investigation. This is not to say that Panama is in the habit of thwarting requests for information but Panama does have a right to investigate crimes that took place in their jurisdiction. As a result of these investigations they could confiscate assets and prosecute individuals under their own laws.

For the MLAT to take effect the violation in question must be a crime in both the requesting country and the country the information is requested from. Various MLAT treaties have all sorts of details and exceptions and should be read individually if you are seriously interested in a particular treaty. Panama not only has no tax treaties with any other nation but all income tax related offenses in Panama are civil offenses only, not criminal offenses. So tax matters are not a crime in Panama. Thus Panama does not participate in requests for information in tax offenses. Panama does cooperate in certain areas freely. If one acts fraudulently while in the capacity of a fiduciary in a financial relationship Panama will cooperate. Panama also cooperates in cases of narcotics trafficking, money laundering, terrorism and child pornography.

The Panama Bank Secrecy laws are contained in a number of different legal statues. We will go through some of the relevant ones:

The Panama National Banking Commission was formed by Cabinet Decree 238 of July 2, 1970.

Article 74 of Decree 238 deals with protecting the privacy of Panama bank clients. It states that the Commission is prevented from conducting or requesting investigations concerning the banking affairs of any bank clients. Any data obtained by the Commission in the course of its normal regulatory functions may not be revealed to any person or authority, except if subpoenaed in accordance with the legal provisions in force (Panama Court Order required). If a violation of this occurred Article 101 of this Cabinet Decree contains provisions for the dealing of such a violation.

Article 101 of Cabinet Decree 238 states that:

“Any person who furnishes information in violation of this Cabinet Decree, or who violates any of the prohibitions established in it, for which no specific punishment is provided for, shall be subject to a monetary fine as determined by the Banking Commission, without prejudice to applicable criminal and civil liabilities.” This is fairly strong language.

Article 65 of Cabinet Decree 238 deals with how the National Banking Commission may gain access to documents relating to the bank’s operation, not individual records of banking clients. The Banking Commission needs to regulate the banks financially and thus inspect their books but this is mandated to be done on a collective basis, thus the books for the bank as a whole are inspected not the records for an individual account holder at the bank. The Banking Commission may not examine or inspect any type of individual deposit accounts, nor the securities held in custody by the bank for clients, nor the safe deposit boxes belonging to clients and their contents, nor the documents associated with receiving credit from the bank, unless there is a Panama Court Order in place that specifically authorizes such inspection or examination according to Article 89 of the Panama Commercial Code.

Panama statues specify that bank secrecy may be lifted by a Panamanian court through Article 89 of the Commercial Code. This is not a commonly invoked procedure but is possible concerning serious criminal activities.

Articles 168 and 170 of the Panamanian Criminal Code contain two sections which enables criminal prosecution for violation the privacy of Panama banking clients:

Article 168. Any person that is in legitimate possession of correspondence, records or documents which are not intended for public knowledge and notwithstanding discloses said correspondence, records or document without proper authorization, even in the event that they were addressed to him, shall be subject to prosecution, whenever such disclosure might inflict damage.

Article 170. Any person that in the course of his occupation, employment, profession or activity obtains knowledge of confidential information that in the event of being made public could inflict damages, and such person discloses that information without the consent of the concerned party; or in the case that disclosure of such information were not necessary to safeguard a higher interest, shall be punishable by imprisonment of 10 months to 2 years or a comparable fine, and the inability to practice his occupation, employment, profession or activity for not more than 2 years. One can readily discern that this would cover Panama Stock Brokers, and Panama Banks including all the employees and officers. This could also be construed to cover Directors of Panama Anonymous Bearer Share Corporations and Council Members of Anonymous Panama Private Interest Foundations.

Panama has done away with numbered bank accounts as have the rest of the offshore tax haven jurisdictions. This is due to pressure from FATF, the Financial Action Task Force. FATF is a private entity that unofficially dictates anti-money laundering statues to the banks worldwide. Numbered accounts are no longer allowed.

Panama through the use of anonymous Bearer Share Corporations accomplishes practically the same privacy as the old numbered bank account. The banks around the world including those in Panama must know who their customers are. This usually means getting identity documents such as passports, driver’s licenses, national identity cards, and letters of reference from banks and businesses. The Panama Bearer Share Corporation is anonymous in that there is no reporting or recording of any stock ownership records in any registry or database thus it is impossible to determine who the natural persons are behind the corporate veil. This means when international wire transfers are sent only the name of the anonymous corporation appears in the wire, the true owner of the account is not revealed for the world to see same as it was when numbered bank accounts were allowed. With regards to writing checks the same applies assuming the signatory signs the check in a hard to read manner. To provide for more privacy Panama only allows an attorney to form a corporation or foundation. This cloaks the formation of the corporation with Panama attorney client privilege further protecting the owners of the corporation or foundation with an additional layer of privacy. In most tax haven jurisdictions the formation of a corporation handled by a corporate agent which does not provide privileged communication to protect the identity of the person owning the corporation.

One can readily see why Panama has become the new Switzerland of Latin America.

Ronald Edwards is a researcher, with years of experience in finances and real estate.

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The Internet has long since passed the buzzword stage of business adaptation. It is now recognized as an integral part of any new successful business venture. While the Internet’s business value has become ubiquitous in industry journals and classroom texts, very few businesses truly understand why successful eMarketing, and not simply a Web presence, may be the true path to Internet business nirvana.

“If you build it, they will come” only works in the movies

In this respect doing business on the Internet is no different than its brick and mortar counter-part. It’s not the old-school business 101 mantra of “location, location, location”, but rather the new-school mantra of “visibility, visibility, visibility.” Of the billions of pages existing in the Internet’s ethereal online universe only 16% are indexed by search engines (source: Web Developer’s Journal). This is in high contrast to the 73% of customers who use search engines to find new Web sites (source: Jupiter Media). If your potential customers can’t locate your site it becomes that much more difficult for them to purchase your services or goods.

However, search engines aren’t the only way to drive traffic to your site. A successful eMarketing approach will be integrated to drive traffic through multiple channels. Press releases can drive interested consumers from online news placements, white papers will help turn researchers into purchasers, online advertising (banner ad’s, newsletter sponsorships, etc.) can entice prospective clients from other sites to browse your wares as well, viral marketing and Web-based guerrilla marketing campaigns can bring tremendous brand awareness and drive results, but are a notoriously finicky audience. Businesses with established customer relationships, especially in the b2c realm, can repeatedly tap their existing client base to drive new traffic and increase sales through active e-mail engagements that entice customer’s to make impulse purchases multiple times throughout the year.

Businesses can also effectively use offline ad campaigns to drive new visitors to your site. This is inherently a bit more difficult as you are requiring customers to remember your Web site address, which is not always easy. The most effective offline campaigns are integrated with online campaigns to take a comprehensive approach to customer engagement. A targeted direct mailing with personalized e-mail and telephone follow-ups that drive clients to a Web-based demo of services will ultimately attain much better results than the more limited traditional mail-only approach.

In short there is more to eMarketing than a Web site presence and an integrated eMarketing approach is the only way to ensure that your business reaches the widest possible target audience and successfully achieves online nirvana.

Adam Harrell is the President and COO of NeboWeb (http://www.NeboWeb.com).

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Mortgage Broker strategies are important as you very well know, but have you considered all the marketing you can do on a day to day basis. This is not the type of marketing where you put an ad in the paper or hire a call center. These are the little things you can do to make sure that your mortgage business continues to grow. These are the things that cost very little but are huge in terms of keeping business as well as high customer satisfaction.

First Tip

Whether you are sending out a letter, a card, or even an ad for the paper, make sure you use effective writing techniques. First among these is to make sure that you have a headline on everything you do. Whether people realize it or not, the headline grabs the reader. Once they see a headline, they are way more likely to read the rest of the piece of text. Always make sure that the headline has a benefit in it so that your client has a reason to keep reading.

Second Tip

Keep writing! For many people, the thank you note has raised their income by large percentages. Every person, customer or friend, loves to show appreciation. They like to know that you are happy for them and that you realize what they have done for you. When you thank them you are connecting with them and helping to cement a future relationship.

If you make it a point to write thank you notes every day, you can really help your return business. Thank people who didn’t even work with you on a mortgage. You can thank those who did something for you: your mechanic, mailman, or even the teacher your kid has at school. Whatever you do, just make sure you send those thank you notes. It will definitely pay off for you.

Third Tip

Be a braggart. When you do something for a client, make sure you tell them. You want to make yourself valuable to the client for a couple of reasons: so that he or she understands why you are getting paid, and so that he or she would refer you to someone else in the future. This can be very valuable down the road. Even though bragging seems harsh normally, so be humble and just point out the things you accomplished because in business you want to be valued.

Fourth Tip

This is a strange one for many, but make sure that if you have a phone person, that he or she always suggests that you are with a client. If he or she says “I’m sorry but he is working with a customer right now, give me one second to see if he can take a call right now”.

This allows you to look busy and confirms that you are worth the effort to work with. It also gives you an out if you don’t want to talk with a certain person for one reason or another.

Last Tip

Though there is an unlimited amount of advice that could be given about mortgage marketing techniques, there are some that are certainly more important. One of those is this: never stop marketing. Even if you are the best mortgage broker that ever walked the planet, if you cannot market then it won’t matter. Nobody will know you are great, you will have no business to close, and you will not make any money.

Above everything else, mortgage is about getting clients in your door. The rest is just paperwork and learning the ropes of the loan biz. With that in mind, there is one other thing you should consider:

Form realtor partnerships whenever you can. If you can find a program that will help you hook up with realtors the right way, you should jump on it. By giving yourself that extra advantage, you are enabling your business to grow without making yourself do more work.

With a partnership with the right realtor, you may find yourself with a large number of renters turned buyers on your desk each day. What a great way to run the mortgage business huh?

So no matter what you do, implement a new marketing tip each day. Try to send out thank you notes, thank people in person, look for times to brag about your self, and even try to keep marketing. Above all, find ways to form those partnerships. Getting hooked up with a realtor and with changing renters into buyers, you will grow your business faster than you ever imagined.

Shane Brooks is a hard nosed business man that doesn’t take kindly to competition. His hard hitting no nonsense marketing techniques constantly makes waves for his competitors regardless of the market he is focusing on. Shane doesn’t mind stepping on the toes of his competitors or ruffeling a a few feathers of the so-called gurus in order to level the playing field. For more info please visit http://www.MortgageSuccessBlueprint.com

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